MY ONLY TREASURE

The past weeks have prompted me to ask the difficult questions in my life. A series of events have led to this: losing my best friend in Singapore, seeking fulfillment and meaning in my craft, financial challenges, the solitary moments living abroad, ghosts from relationships past, and worries about the health of my family members. Without my best friend to cheer me and distract me from my reality, I find myself growing up and facing my current situation. A friend in her 40’s tells me I’m probably facing mid-life. “I’m only 34, isn’t that too early,” I ask her.


For a highly emotional person, who has been described more than once as a drama queen, these sobering feelings can be overwhelming. Stripped of everything, I have no recourse but to turn to God in prayer. This artist rarely follows structure or schedule in her life. But there is something so refreshing about having daily dates with God. At 5:30pm, everything stops. No work, no writing, no other commitments but celebrating mass with a dominantly Chinese community in the heart of Singapore’s civic district. Then I proceed to a cozy adoration chapel. I sit in the cushion in front of the Blessed Sacrament, with my fushia pashima draped over my shoulders or sometimes my legs to keep me warm from the freezing air conditioner. I this silence, I find refuge and peace. And slowly, slowly, I realize He is asking me not to cling to anything or anyone else but Him.


Two years ago, my sister sent me a CD, The Bukas Palad’s Hindi Kita Malilimutan album. The group is a Catholic Filipino Music Ministry, and this was their 20th anniversary album. She stuck a post it with this note, “Hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Love, Isabel.” I briefly listened to the CD and quickly decided I didn’t like it.


But a week ago, out of the blue, I played the CD and fell deeply in love with the songs. One has become my theme song, “My Only Treasure.” It is written by Noel Sanchez, and the song won the Bayan Umawit song writing contest. The words capture my exact sentiments. More importantly, it was humble prayer drawing strength from God. The refrain speaks the very words this writer’s heart wishes to communicate right now. And as Typhoon Ondoy badly hit the Philippines, the songs words couldn’t have been more apt.


“Let me know Your will
in ev’ry pain and heartache of my life.
In Your words I find refuge from the rain.
I will find no consolation
In earthly things I have.
As for me, my only treasure
Is the fullness of Your love.” (refrain)


Away from my family, I only get snippets of the devastation of the flood through text messages and brief phone calls. I could only feel for my father helplessly stranded in the hospital away from my mom and sister as the flood gushed into our home, damaging our belongings. My spirit was weak, my heart heavy as I watched the videos on Facebook of my countrymen suffering. The next day as the sun shone brightly in Singapore, I checked on my family. My sister sent me a message saying they had been cleaning since 6am and how sad it is for my parents to see the damage. Mementos lost. Possessions damaged. Many families definitely have lost so much more. And my family realizes that we have much to be grateful for.


This song soothed the pain, gently reminding me of what truly mattered in life, my only treasure. I share this song and prayer with you. I found this video created by the songwriter on You Tube. May you find as much consolation in it as I had.


10.3.09.CopyrightMaidaPineda.themaidastouch.com

FROM SURREAL TO SOBERING

Yesterday, I had received the first copies of my book, "Six Degrees of Expatriation: Uncovering Lives of Expats in Singapore." It was pretty exciting to hold in my hand (see photo) something I had poured myself to for several months. Writing a book is like giving birth. I posted on Facebook, a happy status to announce my joy. It read, “Maida Pineda:The courier guy just delivered a copy of my book. Hot off the press. How surreal to hold the book in my hands!
Yesterday at 12:07pm · Comment · Like”

As the comments kept adding, the excitement of having the book in my hands was immediately washed away. I got a message from my sister back in Manila asking for prayers. The floodwaters had already entered our home. It had reached the first step of the stairs, about 8 inches I estimate. As I was on mission to fix a glitch on my website with a friend, another Filipino. Our minds quickly raced worrying if our families were ok. She immediately called her mother, safely in the company of her brother. We learned a friend’s concern. Her father was in Singapore for her birthday. Her mother would have been in town too. But her passport had expired so she could not join in the celebration. Left in Manila in their bungalow in Marikina, a city in Manila, she was now standing in the roof clutching on her money, her passport, and the clothes she was wearing. Their dog had already died, as the rain had already completely damaged their one-level home. Her mother was now hungry in the roof, with no relief coming to help her. None of my friends’ friends could help either for they too were in a similar predicament.

Being away from your family and loved ones in difficult times like this one, you feel helpless. The emotion filled our hearts. My friend and I felt weak. And despite our efforts to try to be productive and focus on the computer problem in front of us, we failed. We then decided to turn to join the rest of the choir practicing for the six o’clock mass. Together as a community and the rest of the church, we prayed for the victims of the typhoon. The 24-hour rain fall surpassed the rainfall for one whole month.

I logged back into Facebook in the evening to find some friends online. They were safe and dry. Luckily, their homes were not damaged by the floods. But one friend told me all the chickens in the poultry of her recently deceased father all died. That meant her brother had just lost all the income he was set to earn two weeks from now.

The images from Facebook are surreal, cars even four wheel drive jeeps floating in the flood water. In some cases, only the roof was barely visible. It wasn’t real.

It is odd how quickly it shifts from the surreal feeling of holding a book you’ve worked on four months to the sobering reality of a devastating flood. According to my sister in the US, this typhoon Ondoy is even worse than the infamous Hurricane Katrina in terms of floods. My family is doing ok, picking up the pieces in the damage the flood has left behind in our home including the parts of our van stolen by some looters.

I ask for your prayers for all the families affected by this typhoon.

6:04pm.9.27.09.