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Last night, I fell asleep in tears. I bumped my car on of
all things, a parking post in my condo. After a long day, I did one last errand
then drove home. My parking spot is deep down in the intestine of the building,
five levels down. When I first moved it, it was a dizzying task to drive down
to park my car. But last night, somewhere between the third or fourth zigzag
down the bowels of my building I thought, “Wow, I’ve gotten a hang of this
parking business.” With my plate full of family responsibilities on top of my
work commitments, plus settling into a new place, my mind was thinking of my
101 things to do. I recall thinking of how to tackle two errands for my folks,
then bam, my car’s rear hit a post. I did not maneuver the last turn properly.
I parked my car at my designated slot, looked at the damage, walked up to my
flat, made a phone call, then cried. I felt the heavy weight of the
responsibilities on my shoulders. The stress finally got to me. Apart from a
scratch in January of this year, thankfully I have not had any accidents with
my car. My folks and two dear friends comforted me before I fell asleep. I
awakened feeling a bit better, but still blah. I hit the gym in the hope of
happy endorphins boosting a good mood for the rest of the day. It was my
favorite Zumba teacher, who always manages to make me smile, laugh, and burn
the calories. He and I talked a bit after class, but somehow he couldn’t shake
my bad mood away. I didn’t really want to talk too much to him or anyone else
for that matter for I knew it wouldn’t take much for the tears to flow again.
Talking would instantly become tears. With that knot in my throat holding back
the tears, I tried to go on with my day. I showered then buckled down to work.
But my best friend Rissa knew me too well. Being friends for more than 30 years
now, she knew I need a friend. She called to talk, and just like that the tears
flowed. It didn’t matter that I was out in a Starbucks café crying shamelessly.
Somehow, talking and crying to Rissa was exactly what I had to do. She asked
what I was doing for the day and the night, then reminded me to for some Maida
time.
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Dark Chocolate Macadamia Cookie to cheer me up |
I then decided I to spend an hour or so just to do the most
pressing tasks for the day. The rest of the day was spent being kind to myself.
First, I indulged in a Dark Chocolate Macadamia cookie to cheer me. I love
macadamias and chocolate never fails to make me happy. I chose to be kind to my
aching back with an hour-long massage a few steps away from my residence. It
meant not dealing with traffic or cost, just pampering my body. I then took the
time to finally do the list of home repairs needed to be done by trusty handy
man: from installing curtain rods to finally putting up my favorite painting,
to tackling little details to make my flat feel more like home. Then, it was a
comforting drive to meet up with friends for dinner. As it rained, I caught up
with a dear friend who happens to be one of my favorite Jesuit priests. As the
raindrops fell so did the stories of real life events in the past few
weeks.
By the time we reached the
restaurant, I was in a much better mood. I felt relaxed. Wearing a dress I had
not worn in years, but I fit in again after shedding 16 pounds, I felt good.
But I felt even better seeing Mike, a friend visiting from Sydney and the rest
of the gang of friends I had known for more than a decade now. Tonight, I ate
freely whatever my heart desired. There was Paella, Gambas, Salpicao, Calamares,
and Callos. I ate with much gusto, using the spoon and fork, as Filipinos
normally do at home. The food was great, but it was even better to be
surrounded by old friends. We laughed heartily at Viber messages from dear
Angeline, Mike’s wife in Sydney. Her presence was so strong, as if she were
right there digging into the paella with us. We ended the night stopping by a
wake for our dear friend Mona’s mom. While death evokes sad emotions, in this
wake, we laughed and indulged in Mona’s sister’s Gigi Custaroons and Cupcakes.
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Guilty pleasure: McDonald's Twister Fries |
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Paella from Calderon in Kapitolyo, Pasig |
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Smiling at the end of the day! |
Today, this is what I’ve learned: Shit happens. Sometimes,
you feel like the world is weighing down on your shoulders. There will come a
day when you don’t feel quite right, and you feel like you can’t soldier on. On
days like this, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Give your self that cookie to cheer you
up. Go to your favorite café. Talk to your best friend. Get a massage. Ask for
help. Do one thing to make your life better. Surround yourself with friends.
Friends can make a difficult load more manageable. So next time you wake up
feeling like crap, take a day of from being brave. And do the best thing to
revive your brave soul, be kind to yourself. No one knows better to do it than
you do!
CopyrightMaidaPineda2014. Join me at
on Facebook and Instagram/themaidastouch and twitter
https://twitter.com/themaidastouch
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